An old psychological theory is fury in Argentina and explains the failures in couples

I always have the feeling that my partners are distant, they do not approach as much as I would like, and that really leads me to distress myself. Does it sound to you? With naked psychology, he reached 7 of the 10 most listened podcasts in the country, and reached 50 million streams (reproductions) in Spotify.

He is describing one of the types of attachment, an old psychological theory applied to couples that is also a trend on Instagram and Tiktok. “I have that kind of attachment, I saw it in a reos.” Why do we listen to him and scrolle on this subject? Are we facing the end of therapy and at the beginning of network diagnoses? What attachment is yours? “This interest is a generational issue,” the expert behind this rage in the ears of the Argentines respond to Clarín. With the same calm but firm voice that led her to record more than 200 episodes and be to be released a fourth season, it is deeper. “Before we had the love ‘for a lifetime’, as at the expense of enduring. Not today anymore. The new generations are much more aware of understanding why they repeat relationship patterns. The links are dynamic, we have to build them, you have to put rules. We understand that with love it only does not reach, and that makes us ask ourselves, what I want, how I make the relationship a safe shelter. “In that search for” why we choose those who choose, “says Mammoliti, the attachment theory appears.” It gives us an important key to understand why we link ourselves in such a way and not another, and what can we do to change what we do not like. ” The fears of a baby are intimately linked to the response he receives from the people with whom he establishes his first link. Love relationships and friendships The rest of their lives. What are the different types of attachment? Safe attachment: the adult trusts others, feel comfortable with intimacy and autonomy. This type of attachment is a product that their caregivers paid attention to their demands and understood their needs when he was a baby. Axious-environmental Apego: there is an excessive need for approval and reigns fear of abandonment. This attachment style is the effect that sometimes the baby’s orders were loved in a loving way and other times were indifferent. Avitative APPEAL: Emotional closeness is avoided in the couple, for fear of dependence. In love relationships a limit is constantly marked. It is a kind of barrier against “hooking.” The caregivers showed distance and even anger when attending the baby’s demands. Disorganized apogy: combines anxious and avoidance attachment characteristics, with contradictory behaviors. “It is the most complex type of attachment. It occurs in those who were in homes where there were abuses and other situations of violence,” Mammoliti brand. “How do they have anxious attachment are attracted to those who have an avoidative attachment?-This is super common. People with anxious attachment feel very seduced by people with avoidance attachment, and vice versa. It’s no accident, it’s not because yes. They are feedback, they find and remain as in a dance, many authors say it, or in a quite little healthy and very destructive. Who has anxious attachment is going to look for the connection with the other all the time, that the other validates me, to tell me that he loves me, that he needs me, that he is fine with me, because he will look for that security that is not inside, in the other. On the other side, the person with an avoidative attachment will tend to put distance, if the link becomes very demanding: “No, no, I don’t want to.” And he moves away. The creator of naked psychology marks that, in addition, each one will reinforce the belief of the other on himself, about relationships. The “avoidance” will confirm this idea that relationships “demand a lot”, and the “anxious” will confirm that “never others give enough” and that all paths lead to abandonment. Can you assemble that safe refuge?-Definitely, it’s a yes. It is not that the final answer is to separate. The two people will have to, first, know their attachment style, yes or yes, and, necessarily, have the desire and know how to work it. If the two people are willing to do this emotional work, a safer relationship can be built. considers fundamental in the case of those who have disorganized attachment), standing in the linking style that may be, there is a path to safe attachment. “When we are in a relationship with someone with sure attachment, everything is easier. That neutralizes the protest behaviors of who has an insecure attachment A first step towards safe attachment? There are many strategies that correspond to each insecure attachment style. And not all begin from the same emotional locker. While attachment is formed in the first three years of life, the psychologist clarifies, our adult experiences mold it. Ice, I don’t talk to you because you didn’t answer a quick WhatsApp ‘, I can say:’ The truth is that I feel insecurity when I don’t know about you for a long time ‘”. A person with an avoidance attachment, on the other hand, can work to identify the moment in which he is moving away. “When with the other person they begin to approach, in general people with avoidance attachment begin to find them defects, to look for excuses to mark distance. To tell them: ‘I do not commit to me’. A strategy would be to ask.

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