Different ways of crying

Leo in a news portal that people who cry with movies have greater emotional intelligence than those who do not. By connecting with what is happening to the characters, they reveal a greater capacity to understand the pain of others.

These are highly empathic people, capable of putting themselves in the place of others and, therefore, of better managing their emotions. I agree with an era in which the verb “manage” was used to talk about doing procedures in the bank. A manager, in fact, is a person who hires to deal with bureaucracy and get the files to move, the certificates are issued, the permits are granted. Since when are the emotions themselves “to manage”? Perhaps the fall of psychoanalysis explains that disconnection with what we feel, to the point of having to “process it”, “process it” and “archive it” in an accounting language that transforms the deepest of being of being in merchandise ready to dispatch. Being – unfortunate, I know – does not disappear so easily, no matter how much our time wants to erase it with the invention of Wellness. Let’s go to crying. I, who cry even with a song by Luis Miguel with which someone musicalizes my collective journey, I hope not to manage anything when the tear that threatens with running my rimel. I do not wonder what happens to me because I am too happy: I’m still able to get excited about a song that I don’t even like. I smile a little and accommodate in my seat. This self -satisfaction reveals that I am not being empathic or good person when I cry with a movie. It is clear that I am so involved in the story that what happens to the characters is happening to me. So I don’t get illusions: my crying is worth anything. I cry for me, not because mirror neurons make me better person. Now, there are cries and cries, as Clarice Lispector wrote. There is a bad cry: it is that inconsolate cataract that does not relieve at all; extreme anguish that has no more than that physical reaction. Lispector says that those are the tears that must be contained because they will only leave us exhausted and sick of pain. The good crying is the one that comes from a legitimate sadness and that is why it relieves us. In it, we released a weight that we did not know we had: it is the feeling of “ah, things are like this” that happens when listening to a song or watching a movie. There is knowledge in that cry, I think. It is not necessary to give permission thinking that it makes us “more good.” Since we do not all know how to cry like this, but if someone wants to learn, he can resort to the instructions that Julio Cortázar wrote. “To cry, direct the imagination towards yourself, and if this is impossible for having contracted the habit of believing in the outside world, think of a duck covered in ants,” says that text that gives us irony, master remedy against yoism. Much better than trying to “manage” sadness using the administrative commands of the well -being culture.

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